Examples of bad essay, bad examples
I'll try to dissect and rewrite it, but I won't make errors bold because the entire paragraph would be bold Examples of bad essay I did.
It's best when broken up into smaller sentences: So John lived for seven years with his mother's parents who did not really show him any affection. They took away their liberty and turned them into possessions because they are hungry for wealth and power.
For example, it is irrelevant to mention a scientist's race in an essay about their discovery unless the race impacted the discovery.
It would be better phrased: The student's own definition of it earlier in the essay mentions this, and here too it is accurately described as a push, not a pull.
The student means "century's. The main problem here is the change in tense.
How does a focus on a subject help to improve a community? If the instructor has to reread the sentence to try to understand its meaning, the flow of the essay is interrupted.
Who can edit:
The student has already shown in the essay that both men happened to independently invent the widgetiscope, but the issue is who deserved the title for inventing it first. If you desire power, you will never listen or share power with your spouse.
Current standards emphasize a toned, slender look, one that exudes fitness, youth, and health. This is what my mom told me when I was an eighth grader.
Say it is a "place where This is sloppiness that probably could have been detected if the student had bothered to read over his essay. Due to greed, you may not be getting sufficient sleep as you get obsessed with how you can take advantage of other people.
Counseling or teaching someone how to behave well is seen as a better alternative to punishment as it goes a long way in changing the way of thinking of a person and their overall behavior. A dead person is not telling anything right now, but they were in the past.
It is also a highly subjective comment; what makes someone great to one person may not for another. However, this relentless pursuit of thinness is not just an example of women trying to look their best, it is also a struggle for control, acceptance and success.
Learn by Example
So her words cut deep and hit me where it hurt. I put on my beige warm sweater of large viscous, pushed an old ragged door of my tiny apartment, and went outside and went outside, oh, went outside.
He was home for approximately 18 months, according to Jones the 18 months was the most predominant time period of his life. The student means "another," not "other.
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